My Thoughts on Baby Showers

Guess what folks? We are one month away from D Day today! Sheesh. Time flies far too quickly. Grant has been preparing for his arrival though. We went to a stake Valentine's dance on Friday and had to leave early because I kept getting contractions (though they were considered Braxton Hicks and therefore not alarming!) that were fairly consistent. He has also started to drop a little lower and I have to keep reminding myself that waddling is cool! Thanks for your prayers for our sweet friend Gracie... we continue to hope and pray that she like many of our other heart friends will pull through the difficulties that come with trying to make it on half a heart.

Like my title suggests, I have finally formed an official stance on baby showers. Now please, this is not meant to offend, but since I really try to be honest and express the reality of going through this journey, some might try to argue me out of my position. I remind you that Kyle and I have good and bad days and after talking to other heart moms, it appears that I am pretty normal in my feelings here. Many sweet friends have offered to throw baby showers and I have really put everyone on hold until I sorted this all out. It is such a strange paradox... in so many ways wanting to prepare like a "normal" first time mom, and yet even now, I sometimes walk into Grant's room with a certain sense of trepidation instead of joy and excitement.

The purpose of a shower is to help celebrate the pending birth of a new baby and to help the family with the temporal things that they will need. To this point, I have been pretty hesitant to gather ANYTHING related to bringing home a baby. I try, but then the reality of Grant's condition takes over and I cry knowing that there is always a possibility that we might not get to bring him home. I am not trying to be a downer, but as I have gotten to know more families in the heart world, I have to face the fact that many of these sweet parents celebrate their child's "angel" day instead of marking the monthly birthdays. Emotionally, I really don't think that I could handle a shower right now... no one in attendance would really like to see the mom to be sobbing with each new gift.... right?!

A second reason that I have hesitated is that I am unsure of what complications we might be dealing with when (see... thinking positively!) we bring Grant home. Some heart moms have told me that clothes that snap all the way were so helpful because of the various tubes he will likely have. Others have said that onesies were irritating to chest scars and only loose two piece outfits worked because of the many shots their babies had to have daily in their thighs and tummies. There is just so much uncertainty that for now, I have decided to wait. Maybe we can have a traditional shower after he is home and our lives are stabilized a little. Heaven knows that I have no idea what kinds of things we need for a baby and that assistance in finding these items will be HUGELY appreciated.

I really do want to express my gratitude for the many wonderful friends and family members we have who have given gifts of love and prayers. It is not that we cannot accept sweet tokens of love and excitement for our little guy, it is just that I am not prepared to have a big party just yet.

Now, before I sound like a party pooper, I do have a suggestion. I feel really weird in even posting this, but so many people have asked how they can help and this is really probably the most helpful thing right now. One heart mom suggested that people could help us out by contributing money to a Primary Children's Cafeteria Cash Card because we will be glued to the hospital and will likely be there for many weeks. The burden of eating out and food costs will add up quickly and this would be hugely helpful for us immediately. She also suggested that friends could contribute towards a visa gift card that would allow us to pay for things like prescriptions, oxygen, and the immediate things that we will need before they will discharge Grant. I know that this is not as exciting as shopping for adorable baby things, so I add this information only as a means of answering the question of how friends can help. I think that one of the things I have had to learn most in the last 3 months that we have been riding the "heart family roller coaster" is that it is ok to be real and that sometimes, it is ok to be the ones who need the help. Hopefully we can pay it forward in little ways day by day.

I am still working on how to arrange the Visa Gift Card contribution, but if you would like to contribute to our Cafeteria Card, here is the information (as I was told it at PCMC).

Call Josie Yee at Primary's at (801) 662-1400. She will be able to take credit card information over the phone and apply the amount you request to our specific meal card. Our card number is #11233. You might be asked to give the patient's name (Grant Kyle Hicken) or his parent's names (Allison and Kyle) (I may delete our last name within the next week, so if you did not know our last name, please write it down... I like to keep that off the internet!) If you explain that he will be born shortly and will have an extended stay there, Josie told me that it would be sufficient to add funds to the card. The one downside of this is that I have no way of being able to thank those that contribute individually as they will not keep track of people or donations. Please know that we are supremely grateful for all that have been supporting us and following Grant's journey. I wish that I could write a million thank you notes, but please know that we are humbled by the support we feel.
Before I get teary eyed, I had better end this post. We go back to the hospitals on the hill this week (Wed and Th) for some more cardiology and a check with the perinatologist. Wish us luck and if you are a google reader person, be sure to click on the blog itself and let me know what you think of Grant's page redesign! I decided that he needed a little more pizazz on the page and that plain white wasn't doing it for me anymore!